I don't remember reading about this while i was pregnant.......

One thing i've learned about being a parent is that, no matter how much you read; whether it's books or magazines, you are bound to come across problems you have no idea about. Problems that no one writes about. Problems that have no real answer and no amount of knowledge can help you answer.
          The other day, Bitty said to her daddy "i'm gonna be a big sister!" With wide eyes he turned to me and i quickly shattered her notion. This isn't something new for her either. She often talks about being a sister, and i can see why she would. The shows she watches on t.v., the characters have siblings. Her cousins that she always plays with are brothers and sisters. I was pretty certain this was a concept she didn't understand, atleast until last night i thought that. She wanted to visit her Pap and his girlfriend, so we did. I was telling her "grandma tracy" about the incident that happened early this week, and ofcourse she got a kick out of it too. Except she decided to ask a question of Bitty, do you WANT to be a big sister? To which she happily replied "yes!" So grandma T asked yet another question, "would you like a baby brother or sister?" Bitty didn't even have to think about it, she swiftly answered, "a baby sister." *sigh*
As parents, we hope that we can give our children more than what we had, and i always swore that i felt as though i had and still am, missing out on something by not having any siblings and that my child wouldn't have to feel that. THAT was the one thing i wanted to give my child that i didn't have growing up. Being married to someone that has siblings deffinately reinforced that idealogy. Flash forward to almost 4 years ago when Bitty came into this world 11 weeks premature. Suddenly, i know longer wanted to do that again. And it's not that i don't want to have another baby, because i do, i just don't want to be pregnant again. That thought baffles Husband. It's amazing how we instinctively know what we can or cannot handle, and i know without a shadow of doubt that i cannot go through that again, in my heart i know the circumstances would be the same but the outcome would be different. But then again, i didn't think the biggest pressure to have another baby, would come from daughter.