Leap of Faith

Today i took a leap of faith, thanks to some Facebook friends, and entered a photograph in a charity auction. And by leap of faith, i really mean litterally run and jump off a cliff leap of faith. You see, i am by nature, cripiley self-consious. I know that my photography is good, only because enough people have told me so. But good enough for someone to bid money on, just so THEY can have it, i doubt it. I can almost envision my entry being the only one to not get a single bid. Which got me thinkin'. If it wasn't for this........self-consuming, self destructing, lack of self confidance and self worth, could I, just maybe, make something of myself? Perhaps carve out a little nitche for myself? After all, it is behind the lense of a camera the I truely feel beautiful, that I feel most comfortable and it is behind that lense that, i feel, i can find the beauty in anything. But......there's a giant, brick wall that's always getting the way. It's not a very tall wall, only about 5 foot, but none the less, it's strong and stubborn. It's been standing there for 29 years, i highly doubt it's quite ready to fall yet. Lord knows i've tried to knock it down on occasion, but that usually ends in failure. However, could this be the crack that brings it down??? Sure, there's that chance that litterally NO ONE will bid on my photo. But, the greater chance is that someone will. Even if it goes for less than what it cost me to enter it, it still means someone wanted a peice of something i envisioned. Maybe.....the crack it puts in the wall, will help me to finally knock it down. Even if it's just temporary, atleast i'll have done it.  After all, the only things that truely stands in the way of us and the dreams we have invisioned for ourselve's, is the walls that we chose to put up. After all, no one fears success. What we fear is falure. And the only way we can truely fail, is to just not try. I'm not gonna lie, if my peice doesn't get a single bid, or goes for so little, it will devistate me. Perhaps even make me believe what i've been telling myself all along, that i'm not the photographer people seem to think i am. But, atleast i can walk away knowing that i didn't fail, since failing would've been backing out and not entering the photo. I simply opened a door, and some doors are meant to close.